Hoping For Lipscomb Boom, Fearing Another Carter Kieboom

Referencing Wikipedia liberally here: Trey Lipscomb, a very famous barber in the 1840s who could twirl three mustaches at the same time. Johnny Appleseeds, children between the ages of 8-13 in the 1840s, used to exclaim, “You are a hero, Mr. Lipscomb, for us, Johnny Appleseeds, and you will never be forgotten by golly,” as the JAs used to paste mustaches on their faces and dance in coal mines similarly to the WB frog. A very heartwarming ceremony. Over 180 years later, there’s a new Trey Lipscomb. This one also has a mustache, as all macho men do, and he took over 3rd base for the Nats when Nick Senzel went down. Lipscomb is clearly an NL-Only guy, but looks kinda interesting in a 15-team mixed. In Double-A last year, Lipscomb went 10/4/.284. Here’s Itch with more, “A third round pick out of Washington in 2022, Lipscomb has been lauded for his defense at camp and is slashing .364/.429/.523 with a homer and a steal in 49 plate appearances. He posted a 102 wRC+ in 80 games at Double-A this season, so it’s not a wild idea that Lipscomb could help this team right away in 2024. Also wild is how much I’d like to drive my Honda over Grey.” What on earth? So, if you’re hurting at corner, I could see a flyer, if nothing else to honor those with black lung. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Kyle Finnegan – 2/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 16.20, as he blew the save. To not let Harvey close on Easter is an insult to all awkwardly costumed adult men in bunny suits.

CJ Abrams – 1-for-4 and his 1st homer. Corange Juice is so sexy, I am sweating.

Will Benson – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer, as he hits 2nd. Yes, Benson, Will.

Christian Encarnacion-Strand – 1-for-5 and his 1st homer. “CES!” said in a weird video game voice like the voice that screams “Sega.”

Hunter Greene – 4 2/3 IP, 2 ER. I love this guy, in theory, but I’m so glad I’m out on him this year. He’s the crazy hot girlfriend. The strikeouts are fun, but you forget to text her goodnight while you’re on the road and she’s keying your car.

Luis Severino – 5 IP, 6 ER. Can one still smile while getting completely owned by a Spring Training narrative? We find out after this quick break!

Tylor Megill – 4 IP, 1 ER. See Jordan Hicks’s blurb below.

Abner Uribe – 1 IP, 1 ER as he nailed both of the Brewers’ 1st two saves this weekend, but allowed a homer on Saturday, and Joel Payamps (1 IP, 0 ER) recorded Sunday’s save looking even more lights-out.

Kenta Maeda – 3 1/3 IP, 6 ER. Hate putting too much weight on one start, and maybe Maeda (maeyba?) will come around, but his velocity was way down and he appears cooked.

Jason Foley – 2/3 IP, 0 ER, and his 2nd save. Weird that all preseason everyone thought Alex Lange was the closer, but it’s clearly Foley. Honestly, I don’t even know why, but mine’s ain’t to reason why, it’s to do or SAGNOF ’til I die.

Kerry Carpenter – 2-for-4 and his 1st homer….