Mariners Cook Up Easy and Delicious Win, Beat Rockies 5-3

Last week while on vacation, my partner and I found ourselves in a restaurant in search of a whole fried fish – pescado frito, in a restaurant that specialized in it. We tried our best to order in our unconfident Spanish. But, when we were asked a clarifying question that we could not make out over the wonderful (but very loud) sound of a corrido being blasted from the bluetooth speaker in the corner, we decided to simply answer, “Yes,” to avoid any sort of exposure of our basic grasp of the Spanish language. This seemed to be an acceptable answer.

It was when we were delivered a gargantuan burrito that we realized what that clarifying question was (“burrito de pescado?”). Being the people we are (afraid of causing others even mild inconvenience in any way), we thanked her profusely despite a mild feeling of disappointment, and proceeded to have what I can confidently tell you is one of the best burritos I have ever had, and probably one of the best fish meals as well.

This is all to say, you don’t always get what you order, but if you keep an open mind, the universe (or random chance, if you prefer) has a way of rewarding you for your flexibility. This lesson was learned again today, as I sat down for a healthy serving of Marco Gonzales, but due to the birth of his second child (congrats, Marco and Monica!), but instead was delivered a big ol plate of Tommy Milone.

I’ll be honest – I felt a little pessimistic going into this game, especially after seeing the lineup. Seeing this part of the lineup and being told “This is what will happen two weeks into the season,” would likely be enough for most Mariners fans to have a mild aneurysm.

#Haggery

My concerns were not alleviated by the fourth pitch of the game, a middle-middle 87 mph fastball to the winner of the “Guy Everyone Wanted To Be A Mariner But Everyone Is Now Super Glad He Is Not, In Fact, A Mariner Award”, 2021-22 edition, aka the only good baseball player in the state of Colorado, that put the Mariners in a 1-0 hole to start the game.

I was worried that I had unwittingly been given reservations to the Milone Family Pasta and Fine Meatballs Establishment, and they seemed to be fresh out of pasta.

Luckily, two things saved me from that fate.

First, Milone actually pitched quite well! He delivered about what you’d optimistically hope for from a pitcher like Milone, in the tough situation of unexpectedly making your first big league start of the season. He essentially was told “Hey, at some point this week Marco is out and you’re in,” without knowing the exact date, and he came in with the poise you love to see from a veteran depth pitcher. He, as Dave Sims and Dan Wilson said multiple times, mixed speeds well, and was able to attack all parts of the zone en route to 4.2 innings of one-run ball, giving up just four hits after the Bryant…