The Contrarian: Ray Bourque’s Stanley Cup win was bad and more fake arguments

It’s Friday, and it’s a good time to have some fun. Except it isn’t. Unless it is. Which it isn’t.

Yes, it’s time for another round of The Contrarian, the feature where you send me your most obviously correct hockey takes, and I tell you that you’re wrong. We tried this back in October, when you forced me to make the case that Mark Messier was a great Vancouver Canuck, the puck-over-glass penalty works, and Kerry Fraser wasn’t to blame for missing that high stick in 1993. And I succeeded, because I’m a sportswriter, and our most important skill is to make loud and convincing case arguments for things we don’t actually believe.

If you have a statement you’d like to submit for a future edition of The Contrarian, you can do that here. But fair warning, the bar has been set high, as you’re about to see. Or not see. As always, feel free to try to figure out which of these I actually believe.

Note: Submissions have been edited for clarity and style.

The Stanley Cup handoff to Ray Bourque was a great moment in hockey. – Adam S.

On the contrary, Adam, you blockhead.

Oh sure, the NHL would have you believe that Bourque’s 2001 win was some sort of fairytale ending to a wonderful feel-good story. And after more than 20 years, maybe our hazy collective memory even means they can get away with a blatant retconning.

But let’s look back at this story with honesty, and tell it like it really was. Ray Bourque was a loser, a lifelong Bruin who couldn’t get the job done in Boston. And instead of accepting his fate, he quit on his team, asking them to send him off to where a championship roster had already been pre-assembled. He didn’t want to lead, he wanted to slip into the back somewhere and let better players carry him.

And maybe you can’t blame him. He wanted something, and he took the path of least resistance to get there. That’s human. But it’s not something worth remembering fondly, let alone celebrating decades later.

In my day, if we couldn’t achieve a goal, we either worked harder or acknowledged our failure. But today, we have an entire generation of entitled babies who think everything should be given, not earned. Who believe that if something is difficult, the answer is to quit and give up. Who respond to any adversity by looking for an easy way out.

What happened to us? Ray Bourque’s Stanley Cup win happened. He couldn’t win a trophy the old-fashioned way, so he had it literally handed to him instead. And his selfishness has poisoned a generation.

If that had been me, I would have told Joe Sakic to keep the Cup, or hand it to somebody worthy. Shame on Bourque for accepting his teammates’ charity. And shame on us for celebrating it.

The Stanley Cup is the best championship trophy in the world. – Holden M.

On the contrary, Holden, you oaf.

First of all, which Stanley Cup do you even mean? There are three…